Hello Lane, but don't get too chummy!

Well, I bit the BIG one. I walked in and purchsed the FAT clothes to get through my MLB VIP meeting next week and to get through Christmas. I vow that that will be my first and last time to do that (ok, after I return some pant and replace then today! That will be my last time!). I have to admit there is a sense of confidence you feel when something final fits, but then you realize ...... it's Lane Bryant!!!!! Nothing against Lane or her followers, it just is not me and I don't want to let that sense of confidence allow me to turn away from the goals I have for myself. Of course, on the way home I decided I was too tired (or lazy) to cook dinner so I went through Wendy's drive through. Those things should be outlawed!!! If the government wants to do something effective for health care and they want to control things, they should control the food industry and outlaw everything, anything and all things that make this nation obese.

It is much harder to recover from a food addiction than an alcohol or drug addiction, not that those are not very serious and very difficult addictions to recover from, but you don't have to fill your refrigerator with your drugs and alcohol, you don't have to go into a store at least once a week to fill up on you drugs or alcohol. You have to eat, you have to go to the grocery store, and you have to eat to survive. It's just crazy! I feel like God has played a really bad joke on all of us and someday He is going to suddenly say, "OOps, my bad, food won't make you fat or unhealthy, eat away!!!! Sorry!" I just wish he would have done it this morning before I ate 2 donuts!!! Remember, I really don't start until 1-1-01!!! (Thank, God!)

Scary Start

With any journey you must first take a look at where you came from and what brought you to this place. Yes, 2009 brought with it ALOT of stress, to much really! I've looked at my past, taken stock of who I am, and also realized that I am extremely blessed! I have my family, my health, my job, my great friends all over the country, my love of giving to others, but there comes a time when wisdom takes over and you ask, is there more? My opinion is YES! Isolating yourself is not the answer, feeling sorry for yourself is not the answer, surrounding yourswelf with people who don't get you is not the answer. Life is a journey and we are constantly starting new ones and connect with new people along the way.

This Christmas is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be, which makes me turn to my main comfort ..... Food! I'm not overly secure in my future with the decision I will need to make in the new coming year, which causes me to turn to my main comfort ..... Food. My main GO-TO man, my dad, is suddening not around to .... go to, which again allows me to turn to, yep you got it, ...... food!

So, I have to wrap my head around something else that will be a "comfort", and given that it won't be drinking or drugs, I have to find it somewhere else.

Just like it was very hard to wrap my brain around the idea that I will need to buy some clothes from LANE BRYANT if I'm going to make it through next Monday when BIG clients come in for a business meeting that I'm pulling together, and it get through the holidays, I have to wrap my brain around the fact that something has to change for me to be in a better place by the time I'm 50, which by the way is 19 months.

So, yes, I went through alot in 2009, but it will soon be a closed out year, done, over, behind me! Then it will be time to look forward to good thing, an exciting journey, and getting to know the me I know is in here!!!