Some days just challenge you to the core! It's those days that you just have to back up, slow down and take one baby step at a time, live minute by minute. It is, of course, these times that I want to head right to the grocery store, stock up on a months worth of chocolate donuts and eat them all in one evening, because half way through my binge I realize that I have to eat them ALL so that there will not be any more in the house when I wake tomorrow morning and can start eating them again! The morning will be anew! Of course, as I get out of bed with a sugar induced coma, I think I'm OK ....... until the next challenge!
Well, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This past year has been hard. Enough said on that subject. I will no longer be a victim of 2009. Dwelling on it only helps to a point. I've lived it, I've analyzed it, I've mourned it. Now it's time to bury it, ceremoniously give it to God, thank Him for challenging me, but politely inform Him I'm ready to move on to better things.
We all have addiction of some kind. My family can write a book on the subject. But they can also write a book on being strong and working through issues.
In a few days, I head home to celebrate Christmas, the birth of Christ, the beginning of a new life, and the first Christmas with out the men in my life that meant so much to me, especially my dad. It is not easy, but as I stress about it I'm eating a "EAT RIGHT" TV Dinner, not chocolate donuts and remembering all the good I have in my life.
When I get back to town I will take those baby steps like, no shopping for food after work when I'm tried and weak, only Saturday shopping after a meal. No fast food stops, only home cooked food. Start exercising, slowly like 30 minutes twice a week, then keep adding. That will be my start. I will seize happy moments with friends and family, I will start a grateful journal and remember all the things I am grateful for that day. Right now I don't need to look to the end of the journey or the BIG goal, I just need to look to today and do the best for me that day. I want to start volunteering more and attend Over eaters Anonymous and work the 12 steps. These are the things I will start with in the New Year. To some it is easy, to others like myself, it is easier said then done. But, with you and the support all around me, I can and will do this! It has been a heck of a day, a heck of a week and a REALLY crappy year! Good bye 2009! Hello 2010! Let the adventure begin! ( I wonder if the are serving lunch and alcohol on my flight home? hahaha!)y
1 comment:
Hi Kathy,
I hope you do come to Overeaters Anoymous. It's a wonderful program of recovery from compulsive eating that has worked wonders for me. Even better than the 135 pounds I've left behind now for over 6 years is the overall quality of life I've developed.
If I might suggest, why wait? I don't know where you live but in many areas we have meetings every day. In some areas, you have your choice of meetings every day. Visit our website for a full list of meetings. Meetings can be found here: www.oa.org/meetings/find-a-meeting.php
In addition to face to face meetings, we also have telephone and internet meetings. Lots of ways to start.
Good luck and welcome!
Steve
Post a Comment